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Time seemed to flow quickly and slowly at the same time.

You know that sensation, right? Every time I looked at the clock, it felt like the day was dragging on, but when I finally snapped out of it, I’d realize it was already Thursday or even Saturday. It was something I especially felt during repetitive daily routines.

I had experienced that feeling as a student, and recently, it had returned to me once again.

Whenever I thought about wanting to meet my mom, it felt like time was crawling. It was only a week away, but that week felt like it wasn’t flowing properly.

But at the same time, I couldn’t help but wonder what to say when I finally met my mom and how to greet her. Those thoughts of fear made time feel like it was moving faster than expected. I’d stand there in a daze, and when I finally came to, minutes would have slipped by, and suddenly a day or two would have gone by without me doing anything.

…Yeah. I hadn’t done anything worthwhile.

If it were someone else, especially my travel companions or my older sister, they probably would have told a different story. I had already conquered the world in my twenties and traveled to many places others hadn’t.

But… I thought of myself as still just twenty-five. I was about to turn twenty-six.

I had so many years ahead of me to live, yet my daily life had already turned into something resembling retirement.

Well, I suppose some people might say that’s just a casual remark.

One major reason I was thinking like this was because I didn’t really have any hobbies to divert me.

When I was younger, being with my older sister was fun. Honestly, there wasn’t much else to do. We had a TV at home, but we couldn’t afford to buy all the VODs one by one. Even when it was on, it didn’t seem particularly interesting.

And I wasn’t in a position to have a costly hobby either, so in my free time, the only thing I chose to do was study.

That wasn’t really a hobby either. I just wanted to get a scholarship to a good university so I could land a job quickly and ease my mom’s burden.

Even in this world, I had been fighting without any time to leisurely enjoy myself.

Running every morning felt less like a hobby and more like just a continuation of what I had been doing.

“…Siyun.”

And maybe it was because I had been so lost in thought.

On the first weekend back since I returned, my older sister quietly called me.

Just because it was the weekend didn’t mean we really took a break. The bakery hardly ever closed on weekends, so we just came in at the usual time to work.

“Are you worried a lot?”

When I looked at her, she asked me earnestly.

“……Yeah.”

I was worried.

The scariest thought wasn’t that my mom might think I was dead, but that she might come to hate me. Even if she thought I was dead, she could meet someone else and build a bond, but if she found out I had tried to deceive her as her dead son, thinking I had used my remaining family—you, my dear sister—that would be truly horrific.

“…….”

My sister knew that part well. No matter how much she was by my side, the fear remained. Even if relationships became strained over time, maybe we could eventually forget and live on.

But that was certainly not an easy thing to do.

To my mom, I was her only family, just as she was mine.

“But you really don’t need to worry that much.”

I said to my sister, who had a sad expression.

“Truth is, I’m more worried about being bored without anything to do.”

“Nothing to do?”

“Yeah….”

Mornings at the bakery were pretty busy. It was a rush when many customers came. But aside from those times, things were relatively slow. I had no way to pass the time, so I just spent it gazing blankly at the people or cars occasionally passing by outside.

“Ah.”

It seemed my sister finally realized what I had been doing.

I could understand why it hadn’t dawned on her until now. At home, I always had to chat with colleagues, and at work, I was engaged in various conversations with her.

But when you live together all the time, conversation topics start to dwindle.

If we had been at different jobs, it might have been different, but since we worked in the same place, what she experienced was also what I experienced.

It didn’t mean I disliked it. I was already happy being in the same space as her. Even without talking much, just catching each other’s eyes, holding hands, or hugging brought me so much happiness.

It was just that I didn’t have a hobby.

“Hmm….”

But after hearing my words, my sister’s expression turned incredibly serious.

“……I see, that makes sense.”

And she seemed to come to some conclusion by herself.

Then, looking at me, she said, “You used to ask for recommendations every time I read a book, remember?”

“Ah, yeah.”

She had been reading when she had time to kill, and I had asked for book recommendations, actually reading some of the ones she suggested.

But that never truly turned into my main hobby. Perhaps I didn’t really like reading or studying that much.

“Actually, I didn’t read this because I loved it.”

“……Huh?”

I widened my eyes at her words.

“In fact, I read it just because I wanted to look cool. The same goes for studying. You know… remember the story we talked about last time? During the Volunteer Activity.”

Back then, she didn’t even know who I was.

…It astonished me that it hadn’t even been a year since that time. The events I went through since I returned home were so densely packed that that short period felt like an eternity.

“I did the Volunteer Activity to look cool for you, and… that thing I said was actually just meant to sound cool. Because of what I said….”

“If that’s the case, it’s all good.”

I interrupted what she was saying a bit too forcefully.

“Even if I knew you did it for that reason, I would have done the same. You just wanted to look cool, but to me, you really did look cool. No matter what thoughts were hidden inside, you continued doing the Volunteer Activity even after I died. There are so many people in the world who don’t keep their word, but you kept yours….”

Hmm. I thought I had gone a bit overboard, but now that I thought about it, I felt like we had already had this talk. I probably didn’t need to go over it again like this.

“……Well.”

My words made my sister’s face turn as red as a beet. She paused, choosing her words carefully as she looked at me with a teasing stare.

“You almost made me forget what I wanted to say by saying that out of the blue.”

She grumbled.

And that made her look really cute.

“Anyway, what I wanted to say is… back then, I didn’t really enjoy reading; I just wanted to look cool in front of you. But as I kept behaving like that, I started to change a little.”

“Is that so?”

When I asked, she nodded.

“Honestly, I still don’t particularly enjoy reading. That doesn’t mean I want to play games… when I’m watching a movie, I want to focus on it, so I pick books that I can stop and start several times while reading. And as I read, it can actually be quite fun, and sometimes I even forget the time.”

Indeed, there were times when she had been reading long after customers had come in. When I’d get up to greet the customers, she’d hurriedly bookmark the page she was on and jump up from her seat.

“Then, should we read a book?”

“Books are fine… whatever’s good, I think? If it’s something you can manage. In the past, it might have made sense to talk about something lofty as a hobby, but these days people are watching videos online and stuff. I don’t watch videos here because I dislike being disturbed while watching a movie, but for you, it might be different.”

“……I see.”

Thinking about it that way, it seemed I hadn’t really thought about what kind of hobby I wanted instead of just not having one.

Well, even though I had a smartphone, I had been using a really cheap internet plan, so I hadn’t dared consider watching videos. I also hadn’t thought about spending money on games.

Plus, right after I got somewhat used to that smartphone, I had spent the next five years in another world. And the hobbies in that world were far more mundane than here, so it wasn’t strange at all that I had difficulties adapting upon my return.

“Should we look for something?”

“Yeah. But don’t feel pressured; you don’t have to go that far. Well, maybe some people have ‘doing nothing’ as their hobby… I was just worried and asked.”

“Got it.”

Just to make sure my sister wouldn’t worry, it didn’t sound like a bad idea to look for a decent hobby at least once.

 

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