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The death of Skana caused a bigger uproar than I expected. If it had been killed on the Snow Mountain, there wouldn’t have been such a commotion, but it happened right in front of the Empire’s castle walls.

The last scene was even more chaotic. The Ice Snow Dragon, in a tattered state, came to me and willingly offered its own neck.

Apparently, there was a guard watching it all. Perhaps he spread the rumors, because people quickly gathered around. Of course, the average person wouldn’t know that it was an S-Rank Monster, but at first glance, it looked like a dragon.

Considering that monsters like the Sea Serpent and Leviathan are also dragon-like, it goes without saying that everyone there understood how powerful a dragon-like monster must be.

Well, it’s not like the King suddenly appeared to bestow a reward or anything. It simply became a spectacle and then dispersed.

So, the next day, what was I doing?

“I’m so bored…”

Rolls over.

“I’m so bored…”

Rolls over.

I was lounging on my lodging bed.

“Luke, you’ve already defeated all the S-Rank Monsters that we thought you couldn’t catch.”

“Still, I’m bored…”

It was all well and good that I had defeated all the S-Rank Monsters, but that was the problem afterward.

There were no more monsters to catch. I could ask Lucia or Gideon for a sparring match, and they would probably agree, but that would be boring for me, so I’d rather not.

‘Is there no Easter Egg Monster or anything?’

Something like a level 999 monster created for challenges. Given how the gods here are quite ridiculous, it would seem plausible to have at least one.

Am I going to have to live passively in this boredom until I die? Ah… this cursed world. I jumped out of bed, dragged a chair over, and hung a rope from the ceiling.

“What… what are you doing?!”

Riche tried to stop me.

“Let go! I said let go!”

I’m cursed with boredom, alright! Without the internet, I can’t even write 5700 characters, so what other option do I have but to die and reincarnate?

“No one’s crazy enough to try to kill themselves just because they’re bored!”

“Yet, here I am!”

“That’s true, but still!”

As I debated life and death with Riche—

Clatter.

Luna and Yui, who had gone out, returned.

“…What are you doing?”

“Luna! Help! Luke is trying to commit suicide because he’s bored!”

“…Again?”

Indeed. It’s not the first time I’ve put them in a situation like this. That’s why even when the three of us go out, they leave someone behind to keep an eye on me. You never know when I might try to reincarnate.

“They said the goddess has forbidden traveling to other worlds!”

“That’s not a real goddess! That’s just an idiot!”

Do they think I would believe an idiot’s words?! If I die and it works, great! If not, I’ll escape the cycle of death and find happiness!

“Ah, Luke! We heard some exciting news outside!”

“What is it?”

I should prepare myself because if it’s something trivial for me while I’m on the verge of boredom, Yui should be ready.

“Arthur is getting married!”

What? Who’s getting married? I sent Yui a look that screamed “explain that nonsense.”

“We were walking through the market and saw a huge crowd in front of a big church! Out of curiosity, we checked, and it said Arthur is getting married this afternoon!”

“How do you know the groom is not the toilet?”

“The name was written at the door. Groom: Arthur.”

Then there’s no room for doubt. While I’m bored to death, he’s off to be happy? There’s a saying that another’s misfortune is my happiness. Conversely, another’s happiness must be my misfortune.

If that toilet is getting married, it has to be either Tia or Stella. Given that it’s happening in the Empire and not in their territory, it’s clearly a request for us to attend.

As a good friend of the toilet, I can’t skip the wedding.

“But it’s infuriating. After everything I’ve done, he didn’t even give me an invitation.”

“…What have you even done?”

I helped clean up the filth, raised Riche, and fought demons. I’ve done so much, yet it seems to count for nothing.

“But before I left the family, I met the head of the Roseberry family a few times at social gatherings. That head is a major softy for his daughter, so I guess he didn’t mind when she brought home a husband without arms and legs.”

“Tia probably threatened him.”

If he didn’t allow the marriage, she’d say she would bite her tongue and kill herself. Even in the original work, she would have made a fuss about it. That uncle would have resisted even if she brought home a perfectly fine Arthur, so any man from this world would have gotten the same reaction.

Clap clap.

I gathered everyone’s attention with applause.

“Alright, everyone. Let’s get ready.”

“…Ready for what?”

“What else? He’s getting married! We need to prepare a wedding gift.”

*

After wrapping up our respective preparations, Luna guided us to the church she mentioned earlier. As she said, it was swarming with people outside the massive church.

Groom: Arthur. Bride: Tia. Just as expected.

However, there were also extras I didn’t recognize near the ceremony, but it seems like anyone can attend a wedding in the Empire, as long as they want to congratulate someone.

We planned to blend in with the crowd and get inside the church, but—

“Excuse me for a moment.”

A guard standing at the entrance stopped us.

“What is it?”

“May I ask for your names?”

“It’s Luke.”

“The wedding organizers informed me to never let in a man with black hair and red eyes.”

Hah. That toilet, huh?

“I’m sorry, but Mr. Luke cannot enter.”

How dare a mere guard try to block me?! Crack, I shrugged off my hands as Luna and Riche quickly restrained and pulled me back.

“Excuse me.”

“Hahaha…”

Dragged into a secluded alley, I said, “What the heck? I could have just folded in half and slipped inside.”

“If you cause a ruckus, the wedding will be canceled before we even get in…”

Ah, I didn’t think about that.

“But the more I think about it, the more infuriating it gets. You’d expect someone to greet those who came to congratulate!”

“Well… you have done something, after all.”

“You all stood by and watched, even though you enjoyed it. And now you’re trying to put the blame on me.”

At my remark, all three of them avoided eye contact. They could have stopped me from bullying the toilet back then if they wanted, but now they were just pushing the responsibility onto me.

“So, how do we get in?”

“I think we have to disguise ourselves or sneak in.”

So now I need to sneak into a wedding? That’s ridiculous. Sneaking isn’t my style, so I’ll pass. Besides, I have a nice artifact for disguises.

From my inventory, I threw on an invisibility mask and transformed into just any guy.

“Alright, I’m all set, let’s go.”

“And us?”

“You don’t need to disguise yourselves.”

The guard just said not to let in a man with black hair and red eyes, which means there’s no one else but me.

“Do you think Arthur will let us in when he sees us? He should know that we hang out with Luke.”

“Riche has a connection with Tia, so it’ll work out somehow, just make an excuse for the others.”

Say you’re following Riche, or that I went off somewhere alone.

Thus, we returned to the wedding venue. I decided to enter separately after watching the others go in. If the usual me isn’t around and a stranger is beside them, they’ll obviously catch on.

“Uh…”

“Hmm? Aren’t you with that male visitor from before? Sorry, but if you’re with him, you can’t enter.”

“I’m a friend of the bride. Can you just ask him for a moment?”

“Hmm… I suppose…”

“Please, it’ll be quick. You should know Riche.”

“Very well. Just a moment, please.”

One of the guards slipped inside the church. Not long after, he returned.

“He says you can enter.”

Since Riche is acquainted with Tia, this outcome was expected. Seeing that just makes the toilet seem even more infuriating. How dare he treat me like this?

But today is a joyful day, so I’ll endure it. After watching Riche, Luna, and Yui go in, I waited a bit before going in after them.

Seeing me disguised as just an average villager, the guard let me through without a second thought, and as I entered the church, I immediately started looking for the toilet, but I couldn’t spot him anywhere.

“Mr. Luke.”

Lost in thought as I scanned the surroundings, Luna and Yui, who went in before me, approached me carefully.

“You made it inside safely.”

If I couldn’t get in even after all that, I’d lose it.

“What’s wrong with Riche?”

Riche looked as if she was caught in some guilt. Didn’t she lose such feelings while hanging out with me?

“She said she felt sorry after seeing Tia’s face.”

“What? Just for that? Her husband’s past is his own burden, so the wife should shoulder it too.”

Isn’t that what being a couple means?

“So, where’s the toilet? You guys got to look around a bit since you entered first.”

“He’s over there.”

Following the tip of Luna’s finger, I spotted the toilet from afar, chatting with guests who came to congratulate him.

There he was, still in a wheelchair. Stella was pushing the chair. Tia was busy with preparations, so Stella was probably helping for now; she’d help Tia when her turn came.

The toilet couldn’t shake hands due to lacking arms and legs, but he didn’t seem bothered; there were plenty of ways to express gratitude.

The toilet was dressed in some sort of tuxedo that seemed custom-made.

‘If someone is marrying a guy like that, how low must their impression of him be?’

Love is truly wondrous. Setting that aside, I approached the toilet to fulfill my purpose for being here.

“Congratulations, toilet.”

He turned at the sound of my voice, then abruptly stopped speaking.

“Ah, thank y—”

From the way he initially addressed me, it seemed he might have realized who I was. Since I was caught anyway, there’s no point in hiding it. My intention was just to give a gift and leave.

I took off my invisibility mask. The toilet and Stella’s eyes widened, unable to get any wider.

“Y-You?!”

“Hey, come on, after everything, it’d be rude not to bring a gift when word of your marriage reached me.”

Fireworks are a must at a wedding, after all. I pulled a bomb from my inventory and tossed it onto Arthur’s lap.

“Congratulations on your marriage!”

“W-Wait, stop!”

Ignoring his pleas, I lit the fuse and dashed out of the church.

Boom!

As the church disappeared from my view, I heard the sound of fireworks exploding from a distance.

“Fireworks are essential at weddings.”

“…….”

“Isn’t that a bit trashy…?”

“Arthur must be feeling sorry for himself!”

Right, I’m trash. When did I ever say I wanted to be a saint?

“Alright, let’s prepare for the next gift.”

“What else could you possibly have…?”

“Of course! There’s still Stella’s wedding to prepare for, and after that, it’ll be honeymoon time.”

We’ll gift the first honeymoon.

“The first honeymoon will be in Hong Kong.”

“…Sorry, Stella.”

Riche looked up at the sky and apologized for what was to come.

This world may lack content now, but as long as the toilet is alive, I doubt I’ll be bored anytime soon.

“Gahahaha.”

The crazy ones in a fantasy world, complete!

 

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