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When did it all begin? The moment the Academy was assaulted and I reached a new level of proficiency as a Mage.

I can’t recall what specifically happened that day, as if the film of that day had been torn away, but one issue persistently stood out.

When there are few people around, it’s not a problem, but when a crowd’s gaze turns toward me, I begin to feel nauseous.

Even during my part-time job at Aunt’s bakery, it was the same.

“Here’s the bread packaging!”

“Sure! Just a moment…”

“I feel dizzy. I think I’m going to throw up…”

Each time that nauseous feeling threatened to emerge, there was one solution.

“What’s wrong? Is something on my face?”

“It’s… nothing.” The solution was simple; just by looking at Nova, the nausea faded.

Even at the Academy, it was the same—every time I met someone I was friendly with, aside from Nova.

I pretended to converse casually, but my mind was filled with a cacophony of voices.

“Kill them, kill them, just kill them all.”

“They’ll betray you someday too. Kill them before that.”

“Why hesitate? Just burn everything like last time.”

“You’re having a hard time too. Just look at how ugly that smiling face is behind it.”

Yet whenever I was beside him, even when it became too hard to bear, the chaos would fade away as if by magic.

The whispering voice that tormented me to trust no one hushed when I was near Nova.

He was okay; he was someone I could trust. Just being next to him, I felt more at ease than ever.

So when I heard him say not to follow, it felt as if I were being pushed off a cliff.

My body crumpled, unable to draw in breath, gasping for air.

Yet I couldn’t just collapse like this. If they turned their attention to me, I’d hear that voice again.

“This isn’t right… I can’t do this…”

I hurried home and dashed upstairs, rummaging through Nova’s drawer.

I felt like I would go crazy if I didn’t catch even a whiff of something that smelled like him.

“Haah… this isn’t enough…”

Just his scent wouldn’t do; I needed at least a living part of him nearby…

But how? Nova had already left… he must be mad because of me…

This world without him felt devoid of worth… what on earth should I do?

“…Stella?”

In that moment, his figure, which I thought I’d never see again, appeared before my eyes.

I wanted to rush forward, but a sudden fear began to grip me.

What if Nova still disliked me? What if he called me over just to drive me away?

I didn’t even want to entertain that thought, but if that were the case, there would be nothing I could do—I had no choice.

But I need you… so… if we can’t be together…

“Just… give me an arm… then I’ll leave…”

While looking at Nova, lying down and wearing a flabbergasted expression, I whispered like a plea.

*

“Please… then I’ll go… forever in front of you…”

How did it come to this? No, I don’t even need to say it—this was all my fault.

I shouldn’t have left him alone; it shouldn’t have been so hard to resist a little temptation if I could hold out a few days.

I couldn’t safeguard a kid who was suffering enough to erase their own memories and just left them be.

I treated her feelings as temporary, caused by the potion, ignoring the emotions she held.

How much pain must she be in to make such an expression? In her eyes, which looked like madness, I could see an undescribable loneliness, pain, and sadness reflected.

“…I guess I have no choice.”

This was the only way I could possibly seek her forgiveness.

Gripping the kitchen knife that lay on the ground, I softly spoke to her.

“Can I get up for a moment?”

“Are you trying to run away? No… you have to give me at least an arm before you go…”

“I’m not running away… I’ll do what you want.”

“…What?”

Pushing away the confused look on her face, I took a deep breath and pointed the knife at my arm.

“…What are you trying to do?”

“You need an arm, right? I can give you as many as you want.”

Stella’s expression turned to stone, as if she couldn’t believe what she was hearing.

I had no intention of joking. Among the hidden quests, there’s an artifact that can heal any wound.

It might be uncomfortable for a while, but then I could just reset everything later, right? There’s no problem with that!

“I use my left arm often, so this will be my right arm… but please come back to your usual self quickly. Then… I’ll go.”

“Oh… no! Stop!”

Crash!

Just as I was prepared to bring the knife to my arm, Stella lunged forward, seizing my arm with a force strong enough to nearly break my wrist.

In an instant, she flung the knife far away while burying her face into me like a child on the verge of tears.

“Stella?…?”

“I don’t even know why I’m doing this… My heart wants me to let you do it, but… my body won’t let me… It’s strange… What should I do…? I really don’t know…”

“Stella…”

I wiped the tears gathering in her eyes, scratching my head.

How should I put this? Is this a kind of save? If all goes well, maybe I won’t lose an arm?

“You can do whatever you want until you feel like yourself again… I just want you to be okay.”

“Nova…”

Only after hearing those words did a semblance of stability return to Stella’s troubled expression.

“Is it really okay?”

“Of course! Come in as often as you want!”

“Then hold me tight!”

“Uh, okay!”

Hugging tightly

“Pat pat!”

“Right!”

Pat pat pat

“Are we sleeping together tonight?”

“Um… I don’t think we can…”

“Is that a no…?”

“Uh-oh… I got it! I won’t know what will happen anymore!”

What do I do if she makes that abandoned puppy face? Just in case, I should probably prepare X too…

*

“Hmm… Morning? Am I… in my room? Oh, Nova!? Why are you sleeping here?”

When I opened my eyes, I found myself lying on the bed. The odd feeling behind me made me turn my head to see Nova lying there with a dazed expression, almost lifeless.

Startled by my voice, Nova lifted his sleepy eyes and asked me.

“What’s wrong… shouting like that… do you want me to pet you again?”

“Ugh…”

It finally dawned on me one by one what I had done.

What should I do? If there were a mouse hole, I’d want to hide in it. Why did I even do those things?

During all that, the gentle strokes he gave me felt so nice; it was completely absurd.

Should I just pretend to sleep? I couldn’t bring myself to face him and see his expression.

Should I just keep pretending to sleep? When Nova falls asleep again, I could sneak out…

Phew…

“Hyatt?!”

Suddenly startled by the hot wind by my ear, I let out a terrible scream.

As I slowly turned my head, I found Nova with an amused expression, as if he had found a new toy, grinning at me.

“You… no way…”

Crap, I’m totally screwed. I can already see a future where he’ll tease me endlessly after this break ends.

Should I just act like it never happened? Yes, pretending it was all just a bad dream…

“Do you want me to pet you?”

Damn it…

 

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