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1251——————==

Soul of the Evil God

Life number 30 has begun.

“Ugh….”

I frowned at the lingering pain in my solar plexus. Fortunately, it was less than the agony of having my head severed, meteors crashing down, or the sun exploding. The pain subsided quickly. Once it eased a bit, I sat calmly in the barn and thought.

‘My 29th life was a whirlwind….’

I felt like I was being dragged around aimlessly, like a fish hooked through the nose. I traveled to many places, but what did I actually gain? It was hard to even put into words. I encountered all sorts of events, but nothing became clear.

“Damn. Is this just how it is sometimes?”

I felt an unfamiliar unease as I experienced a sense of discomfort for the first time in my past lives! I couldn’t hide my anxious feelings and shook my head.

“…Should I think a bit more on it?”

But even if it was uncomfortable, it wasn’t the worst. After all, I had been reborn and gained a new opportunity, hadn’t I? I decided to think relatively positively and began to ponder what I needed to do right now.

First, I decided to go over what the Zhuge Clan had told me.

‘Zhuge Clan gave me three tasks….’

First: Unite the Three Sovereigns to oppose the Evil God.

Second: Fire the Four Great Spirit Deities to drain my overflowing magical power close to nothing, while also increasing my affinity with the Four Great Spirit Deities.

Third: Before the Evil God tries to find the World Tree for a quick resurrection, stop Jeogok from joining their ranks.

As I mulled over these three things, a realization hit me.

‘The first and third tasks are connected.’

Stopping Jeogok from joining the Evil God’s side is essentially my first step towards uniting the Three Sovereigns. But at the same time, I recognized that both tasks were incredibly difficult.

Can I really persuade the Three Sovereigns to collaborate?

Even if they’re mostly holed up and the Five Sovereigns are fragmented, they’re among the mightiest rulers in the universe. It’s easy for me to gain something by contacting each individual, but leading their alliance would be another story. I knew from past experiences that they wouldn’t easily lend an ear to the words of a mere mortal, no matter how much I tried to avoid being treated like a bug.

‘…But Zhuge Clan said it should be possible if I utilize the information and knowledge I have gathered.’

I had no choice but to trust Zhuge Clan’s words. While I thought I could make it happen, I felt a stir of anxiety at the same time.

‘But this is such a grand goal. Because it’s so big, I can’t see what I should do right now.’

The issue with having monumental goals became increasingly clear. Because the target was so vast, I couldn’t grasp what I needed to tackle immediately. Zhuge Clan likely gave me directions based on the premise that I would figure out clues from there.

I felt the need to set a more visible and concrete goal.

‘If there’s something I can do right now, it would be to fire the Four Great Spirit Deities, right….’

Wooong

I immediately closed my eyes and connected to the Four Great Spirit Deities. I sensed that the wheel of the deities wouldn’t be too friendly towards me.

‘The wheel is surrounded by darkness; they don’t welcome my contact.’

If I reached out, it would be just like that time in my past life when I almost got killed after catching Vajra. I had already found the solution to this issue during my 29th life, so I released my meditation, returned to reality, and muttered.

“I need to offer the Seven Luminary’s Ritual to the Water Spirit Varuna.”

Thus, the immediate task at hand would be to quickly release the seal of Xuyou for the offering. As I thought that, I stood up, only to suddenly lose strength in my legs, collapsing back down.

“…….”

This is hard….

I felt like I wasn’t weak, but somehow my spirit felt entirely drained. Even if I were to fight someone in this state, I realized I wouldn’t be able to muster the same enthusiasm as before. I was flustered since I had never experienced something like this.

“Damn…. It’s not like anyone is using their power to oppress me, but I just don’t want to get up.”

Is my physical strength or energy depleted?

No, that wasn’t it. My mind was overflowing with thoughts of rushing out to gather treasures and progress quickly. My body was in great shape. But for some reason, my body felt heavy, like cotton soaked in water, not responding to my will.

Why is this happening…?

I pondered. And for a while, I sat blankly in the barn doing nothing.

Moo—

The golden calf approached me, crying, and nudged its nose against mine. I absentmindedly patted the calf while staring blankly at the void, not thinking anything at all.

‘Now isn’t the time to waste time like this.’

I should be moving a little faster and achieving something quicker, yet here I was wasting time in vain. I was baffled, but still didn’t want to move.

Then, moments later, I felt the words of the Asura echoing in my head.

[It’s a simple matter…. Then rest.]

[You do as you please.]

A simple chat before my last life ended. Just a passing conversation, but why did those words resonate in my heart so strongly?

In that moment, I realized why I was feeling so down. And I couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Ha… hahaha. Haha.”

So that’s what it was.

I was physically and mentally fine—but my will was drained.

The strength to move forward, independent of my will, was rooted in the emptiness I felt inside…

It wasn’t an overnight change. I had sensed this might happen at the end of my 28th life. I had been exhausted when talking to Zhuge Clan or Cheon Woo-jin, and while they understood me, their positions prevented them from saying anything overly reassuring.

And too many critical and dangerous situations had piled up in succession, giving me no room to feel the sense of emptiness. Only now was the genuine aftershock hitting me.

It felt alien.

I hadn’t felt this drained of spirit since my first life. I struggled and fell often during my first life due to the hardships I faced, but since then, I hadn’t felt like this.

‘I had felt filled with desire ever since gaining rebirth ability as the Heavenly Secret.’

Whether it was dying helplessly or getting killed in vain, the power of reincarnation promised that [next time] would come. It was a tremendous motivation! As long as there’s a next opportunity, even if I felt powerless now, I wouldn’t lose my will.

If I kept thinking that I couldn’t conclude without trying, my motivation would always be abundant. Moreover, every rebirth accumulated strength and knowledge, bringing forth a sense of accomplishment, ensuring that I would always be eager to act. It was fundamentally different from the powerlessness I experienced in my first life when I couldn’t make any choices.

However—my enemy, Emperor Gong Sun Xuanwen, was too powerful. Thanks to sheer coincidence and miracles, I managed to seal him, but as a cost, I lost all my comrades and barely survived through the enemy’s mercy. I was overwhelmed by the very size of the enemy daring to challenge the overwhelming might of an outside force. My experience of being dragged around by the Emperor’s understanding of the law of cause and effect also left a heavy mark.

“Baek Woong!! Get up!! Let’s find the Heavenly Secret! Look for the treasures and seek out the strategists!!”

I suddenly shouted. Naturally, I thought that by listing all the things I needed to do, I would trigger myself into action.

Moo—

But only the calf cried, and I remained motionless, not even getting up. While my mind was racing, the truth deep down reflected the exhaustion I felt.

‘Am I crying in despair right now?’

But not at all. I had felt intense sorrow several times in my life, but the despair I felt now was completely different. True grief could be poured out fiercely, allowing one to regain calmness. But I was empty now, devoid of any sorrow to express. A complete combustion raged inside me, leaving no trace of hidden emotions.

Is the void something existing (you) or nonexistent (wu)?

It should certainly be the latter, yet if only emptiness remains, it might as well be existing.

Something that cannot become complete emptiness, a shell is all that remains of my current state.

“…….”

Thoughts began to swirl. And whenever I became lost in thought, it wasn’t a good sign. I had faced many suffocating situations in the past, but now even that frustration felt hollow, and I could slowly sense myself beginning to close my heart’s doors.

“Ah….”

Unknowingly, I murmured the words that felt natural as a reborn person.

“I want to die.”

I had wanted to die many times, but I’d never felt this desperate to actually do so.

…….

And so, I sat still in the barn for what felt like several moments, not moving. Even though I should have rushed out and saved time, I wasted it—yet I felt utterly devoid of energy.

Then, while sitting there, someone entered the barn.

“Cow dung! You! Why haven’t you cleaned the dung, weeded the fields, or filled the water buckets!!”

A very familiar voice, though it sounded like something I hadn’t heard in over a decade.

I involuntarily smiled at the warmth it brought.

It was the Village Chief.

“Hey… you little brat. You gone deaf or what?”

When the Village Chief spotted me not moving in the barn, his expression shifted to a scowl as he glared at me.

‘Based on my past experiences, if he’s really angry, he’ll probably smack me with a solid bundle of straw stacked in the rice fields. If he’s just mildly annoyed, he could kick me, but that would be painful enough to make me feel awful.’

I could dodge even with my eyes closed. No, I didn’t even need to dodge. I could knock him down with Protection Energy Technique.

‘He can hit me if he wants….’

But for some reason, even that option didn’t cross my mind.

I almost felt inclined to just offer my cheek if that meant he would hit me.

Because the moment I reacted to the Village Chief, I felt like I’d grasp the tiniest bit of desire to move again.

However, the Village Chief, searching for a bundle of straw to hit me with, sighed shortly after.

“Whew! Enough. Don’t make me more frustrated. All of you young folks are getting lazier.”

“…….”

“You didn’t move quickly enough, so there’s no food. Hurry up and get to work.”

With that, the Village Chief left. I couldn’t even muster a smirk; I just stared blankly at the void.

‘Is it… is it really this pathetic that this has been my daily life…?’

Yes. When I broke away from this absurdly trivial life to become the escort, I was overjoyed, but eventually realized that even as an escort, life was still subpar. Then, every moment I lived with the reincarnation ability fueled my desires — but who could have thought it would come to this?

In that moment, I thought of something truly strange that I would never ordinarily consider.

“…What if… I just do as I please?”

Since I hadn’t done anything of the fun I’d only thought about until now?

It had no meaning.

There was no efficiency.

I wondered if someone would criticize me for doing it for no reason.

But even if it had no meaning— I just wanted to try.

I had ignored this little village for so long, thinking the scope of my adventures had become too grand, but just this once…

‘That’s a foolish idea. Why would I do that?’

Yet, despite these rational thoughts, I became aware of the fact that I was smiling.

“Hehehe.”

And the moment I recognized that smile, I truly understood that I wasn’t the pure knight-like character that Mangnyang embodied.

It was like experiencing heart-thumping excitement reminiscent of childhood pranks.

I, too, needed something to play with.

Preferably something that had a connection to me since the past.

“Should I go?”

Desire ignited for the first time.

I felt a sense of liberation breaking away from my usual principles of acting efficiently.

Tydaht

I sprang up from the barn and dashed out. And unlike before, I wasn’t heading towards the cave where the Heavenly Secret was— I reached my destination swiftly.

Is this the Village Chief’s house?

“Eh?”

The Village Chief, who seemed to be having a late meal with his family before heading out to work, appeared taken aback.

“Why is that cow dung here all of a sudden….”

“AAAAHH!! Don’t eat, you bastard!”

“What….”

“The world is about to end, and you’re all sitting here relaxed! Am I the only one working!!”

I lunged and overturned the Village Chief’s dinner table.

“Damn this meal!”

Crash!

The table soared through the air. Simultaneously, I charge in and snatched the bloodline from the Village Chief and his family, as well as the servants nearby.

Shudder

With the Village Chief pinned down by the bloodline, unable to utter a word, I released his bloodline and said,

“Listen up!!”

Grabbed him by the collar and growled.

“From today on, I….”

I shouted that while pondering.

Why would I want to dominate such a small village? With the Three Sovereigns in a wrestle and Demon Kings looming to plunge the world into chaos, and the Evil God ready to resurrect if left unchecked— why?

“I….”

But who needs a reason?

If I want to do it, then why should I bother explaining?

If I had to give a reason, it was simply something I wanted to try at least once since my first life.

“I am the Village Chief of this village!!”