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It was my first kiss.

Of course, it’s a totally obvious thing. I had never had a partner before.

I don’t really know if that’s strange or not. Up until high school, there were plenty of kids around me who were single. It wasn’t weird to be at that age without any other experiences.

But now, I had just turned eighteen and kicked the bucket. Even in the afterlife, I had never experienced anything like this. Among my comrades who fought on the battlefield with me, nobody had that kind of experience either. Well, to be fair, we hardly ever had time to leisurely pursue a romantic partner.

Anyway, it was the first kiss I’d ever had in my three lives, counting up to twenty-five years.

And it was with someone I genuinely liked.

It wasn’t me who initiated it, but rather my older sister who came over for the kiss.

I didn’t have a single thought in my head. I simply felt the warmth of my sister touching me.

Her lips met mine, and I felt every movement so vividly that I couldn’t help but squeeze my eyes shut.

That warmth lingered for a while and then slowly faded away.

I opened my eyes.

My sister was just opening hers too. Her eyes were shimmering with moisture.

My vision was also blurry.

My heart had been pounding loudly for a while now. Actually, it wasn’t an exaggeration to say it had been racing all day. From morning till evening, I had been with my sister, holding hands, linking arms, doing many things I had never done in my past life.

They were all first experiences with my sister.

Honestly, there were still so many aspects that I couldn’t fully believe. Was it really just my imagination, created by my mind? I had heard somewhere that the difference between a fearful pounding heart and an excited one is just the perception of the person feeling it.

Maybe that was true.

Though both occasions made my heart race, the feelings coursing through me now were different from what I felt during the day.

Expressing it in words was tough. Should I call it moving, or should I say I felt relief?

It was definitely an emotion that should calm my heart, yet mine was still racing wildly.

My sister chuckled shyly.

“Siyun.”

“Yeah.”

When I responded, she stared at me quietly. Her face continued to wear a smile.

But the tears that clung to her eyes looked like they might spill over. Is that what it means to cry from happiness?

“Siyun.”

She asked once more, as if needing reassurance, holding my hands tightly, as if I might drift away at any moment.

Perhaps she was trying to believe what I told her.

“…Yeah.”

When I answered, she released one of my hands.

With that hand, she gently caressed my cheek.

But the face she touched wasn’t the one I used to have. The face she knew was already made up and resting in the columbarium.

Still, she touched that unfamiliar face several times.

Once her hand fell from my cheek, it moved towards the back of my neck.

The other hand, which had been holding on until then, was let go, and she hugged me tightly. Her arms wrapped around my neck.

Our bodies pressed closely together. My sister felt warm.

“…”

I raised my hands without a word and wrapped them around her back.

My sister was crying in my arms.

I felt sorry. I didn’t want to see her cry.

Before I died, I didn’t want to see her tears. I always wished for her to be happy and smiling.

But I couldn’t hold back my own tears either. My blurry vision finally cleared up, only to blur again, and with each blink, it would clear up before becoming blurry once more… My face was probably a mess too.

For a while, we just held each other and cried endlessly.

*

“Goddess…”

“Yeah, that’s right. I ended up here because of the Goddess.”

Facing each other on the bed, we shared many stories. Most of the tales were about the five years that passed since my death.

I had asked her to keep proving that I was Siyun so she could trust me.

I had briefly recounted one tale earlier, but she kept asking more questions. From a rough story to delving into details, digging deeper as if intrigued.

Among all those questions, the part she found most interesting… or I should say, the one she asked about in detail, was about the afterlife.

In fact, it was a story that would seem strange no matter how many times it was heard. That gods actually exist, and there is indeed an afterlife, but it’s entirely different from the religions believed in this world.

How the Divine Temple manifested, why gods exist, and how they came to aid the world remain shrouded in mystery. Even if I wanted to ask the Goddess directly, by the time I got in front of her, there were always other pressing matters, and the conversations would run out of time before I could ask.

If I had truly died, the story might have been different, but since I was here now…

Real theological discussions could be held even after death.

It was a tale passed down among the clergy of Irrelaysia. While understanding theology is important, they prioritize helping the poor souls right in front of them. After all, the truths that cannot be uncovered here will eventually be revealed in death. So while alive, it’s about being faithful to reality.

That’s why, at this moment, I wanted to be present with my sister.

“…Honestly, there are still so many aspects I can’t fully believe,” I admitted.

She playfully laughed and said, “Goddess, that sounds like something out of a fairy tale I’d read as a child.”

And it did sound like something out of a video game or manga. At least in my country, there wasn’t a religion that had a goddess worshiped by many people… to my knowledge, of course. There might be one, but it was definitely one I wasn’t aware of.

“It’s nothing like the other religions we know.”

That seemed like a statement even the Goddess would agree with. This world is one where her power barely reaches. Someone ignorant of her existence would likely find it hard to feel her presence.

“But I experienced it, that doesn’t change.”

“Oh, no, I’m not saying I absolutely can’t believe it.”

When I spoke with a wry smile, my sister responded quickly.

“Just, I think it might take me some time to believe.”

She added that comment, almost shyly.

“…If what you say is true, then do I have to start believing in the Goddess?”

My sister looked at me with slightly anxious eyes.

“Hmm.”

I pictured the Goddess’s face in my mind. She acted like working was a massive chore, yet did everything necessary. Moreover, when I told her I didn’t need rewards, she seemed to get even more impatient, insisting on giving them to me.

If her personality had been one that casts aside those who don’t worship her, she wouldn’t have singled me out as a hero when I was an outright non-believer.

“I think it’s entirely your choice.”

Well, even Arna wasn’t a believer. She didn’t even call the Goddess ‘Goddess.’ She just referred to her as the Prophet.

Honestly, I thought the Goddess might even prefer that terminology more. Having heard her lamenting her position, I thought that even more.

Maybe I should ask her next time we meet.

“…I see.”

My sister replied in understanding, staring at me quietly.

I watched her silently in return.

Neither of us said a word, but it felt like we both wanted the same thing.

Slowly, we moved closer together.

And once again, our lips met.

It was the second kiss.

Usually, they say that the excitement dulls after doing something provocative a few times, but each kiss with my sister felt the same.

Still warm, soft.

It sent tingles all through my body.

I could feel my sister’s body pressing closely against mine.

When we were standing, I was definitely taller, but lying down like this, the angle made her seem bigger, depending on how we positioned ourselves.

When our lips finally parted, I looked up at her and saw her smiling.

“…I like you.”

Her words made my heart race.

“That’s something I’ve wanted to say for a long time.”

After saying that, my sister just stared at me quietly.

She was waiting for a response.

“…”

Watching her, I opened my mouth but struggled to get the words out.

“I… like you too.”

I echoed her words.

I had liked her for a long time.

“Since we were little, I’ve liked you all along.”

It was something I had wanted to say again and again. Even when I first died, and then the next time. My feelings had never changed.

Hearing my words, my sister smiled.

Perhaps it was because she had just cried before.

There was no hint of sadness in her smile.

 

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