Chapter 263






〈 Chapter 263 〉 It’s a Curse, Not a Blessing (4)

*

It’s a curse, not a blessing.

Destel’s words began that way, but it wasn’t a sentence he came up with on his own. It was something whispered to him by someone else.

“Stars falling is a curse. A horrifying curse, not a blessing. Don’t you really think so?”

Despite the identity of the speaker who uttered that line, Destel agreed with the meaning contained within it.

Destel spoke.

“Of course, I don’t hate the stars. I don’t think about dragging them down like Gletus or Kelharlem. Before worrying about what’s right or wrong, I’m just not the kind of person who sets such lofty goals.”

He truly believed that.

Destel continued without putting on a facade or pretending, feeling there was no need to act even in front of the girl dreaming of becoming a hero.

“But you know.”

Destel glanced at Chloe.

He looked at the young girl blessed by the stars, whose life had been forced upon her. Seeing a girl who might walk a similar path to his own made Destel smile ruefully.

“I resonate with this one thing: the falling stars are not a blessing but a curse.”

“…A curse?”

“Yeah. A curse that decides your life arbitrarily.”

Destel nodded.

“The moment you receive the starlight, whatever you dreamed of before means nothing. You just become a hero. A hero that lives off the blood of others.”

Unlike himself, who is nothing without the stars, there are those who shine without them. Those who willingly sacrifice their lives for him.

He must feed off their blood.

Just because he was chosen by the stars.

Thud!

“It means you have to kill yourself and act the way others want. You must be perfect, virtuous, and a symbol of hope. That’s what a hero must be.”

Chloe, who had been listening, posed a question.

“…Is it the same for you, Destel?”

“No? Not for me. You know what I’m called.”

Destel shrugged his shoulders.

“I’m not like that anymore. I’m tired.”

He was like that at first.

But now, with time having passed, he was simply exhausted.

“I know I’m trash. I wander the easy path, unlike a hero, and force sacrifices onto knights, while I don’t take responsibility.”

He doesn’t fight for his life.

While forcing others to sacrifice, he never weighs his own life on the scale.

‘I don’t want to take responsibility for sacrifice, but I don’t have the courage to make sacrifices myself.’

He is just that kind of person.

Destel knows himself well.

“I’ve given up honor and chosen the easy path. A path that’s not challenging and doesn’t gnaw at my body.”

Truly, a life fitting for the name cowardice.

Destel muttered sardonically.

“Galahal is right.”

An out-of-context line.

“The Ashen Mage is not someone I can trample. I know that much.”

This was an extension of their conversation from earlier.

Chloe listened quietly to Destel’s words.

“Raniel van Trias, the Ashen Mage.”

A mage who made a name for himself on the battlefield.

A figure called a wise one, and no one is unaware of the achievements he has piled up. But because Destel stood in the same place, he knows more than anyone.

“More responsible than anyone, kinder than anyone, and more heroic than anyone. A character who isn’t even a hero. I’ve never seen such a guy before. I wondered if such a thing was possible.”

It was shocking.

That was Destel’s first impression of Raniel.

“He has no obligations at all. Even from birth, he’s entirely different from a guy like me. Unlike me, who is nothing without starlight, he has already risen to prominence.”

The foremost tower of the Royal Capital, the Ashen Tower.

A monstrous guy who earned the position of Master of the Tower before even turning twenty.

“And yet he came to the battlefield.”

Raniel came to the battlefield, having given up that position.

No one forced him to do that.

“And he fought, even at the cost of his own body. When he had no reason to. When he didn’t need to.”

There were no obligations. No responsibilities.

Yet Raniel took responsibility for everything.

“No one can curse the Ashen Mage. That’s the right word. He could have retired long ago. He had no obligation at all.”

It was not a forced life.

Because it was a life chosen by him, it shines even brighter.

“I don’t want to admit it, but he’s a splendid guy. That’s why they call him a madman. There’s no way such a life would be possible without being crazy.”

“…Is that so?”

“Indeed. He has a lot of problems with his personality, but… that’s a trivial matter, so let’s overlook it.”

Chloe tilted her head.

Seeing that, Destel couldn’t help but chuckle.

“He lives by the right way.”

He does what he must do.

Because he should, he acts accordingly.

“How difficult can that be? Living according to the right way is the hardest. A life without compromise is the most difficult.”

There was a time he longed for such a life.

There was a time Destel tried to imitate that life. But now, that was all in the past.

“But.”

Destel looked at Chloe.

“Not everyone can be like Raniel.”

Whenever Raniel’s name came up, or whenever Galahal’s story was told, Chloe’s eyes sparkled. Seeing the admiration in her gaze, Destel couldn’t leave her alone.

The end of admiration can be dreadful.

Destel knew that all too well.

“Minds can easily crumble. Goals can become twisted. People will eventually compromise. Even if they claim to have an indomitable spirit…”

Destel knew.

The existence of a hero who stood by Raniel’s side and dreamed of being like him but ended up twisted.

“If you don’t have innate talent, then that too is meaningless.”

Destel knew.

A hero who dreamed of being perfect, burning away her life, yet ultimately died accomplishing nothing.

“I don’t know what you dream of or what you wish to become, but…”

Destel looked at Chloe.

Since she hadn’t yet chosen her life, he spoke to her, seeing the girl who still had a chance.

“Living solely on admiration is a hell of a place. Think thoroughly and choose.”

Destel let out a short breath.

“You can live admiring Raniel and emulate Galahal. Or you can let everything go and live like me. In the end, the choice is yours.”

Chloe slightly lowered her head.

Though her hair fell and obscured her eyes, Destel guessed her eyes were trembling.

“Since you’ve come to the battlefield, observe a lot and learn a lot. Then think and decide carefully.”

Unlike himself, who had been rotten from the beginning.

“You still have time left.”

Since the girl before him had time left.

‘Someone might curse me, saying I’m injecting useless thoughts, teaching unnecessary things…’

This was Destel’s way of showing consideration.

As a senior who belatedly realized that he was nothing but a consumable.

2.

Early in the morning, I took off the uniform of the Apuria kingdom and changed into the Knights Order uniform. It felt unfamiliar to wear the uniform after such a long time.

‘I wore it often at first.’

Later on, I just threw on a robe, but I remember wearing the Knights Order uniform in the early days. Back then, I had tried to look somewhat cool.

“Look, Raniel.”

“They say this is the uniform for heroes. The basic color is white with golden borders. Isn’t it cool? My specially made shoulder armor is supposed to be added…”

When Kyle first received the hero’s uniform.

At that time, he had been full of confidence, nervously fiddling with the hilt of the holy sword.

“I’m still an apprentice, but I must have this much outfit to stand before others. How do I look? Does it suit me?”

“It’s fine. How about mine?”

“Hmm, now you look a bit more like a knight.”

“Right?”

That Kyle, with eyes filled with passion instead of those of a rotten fish, stood tall during that time. It was a genuinely enjoyable period, hence it lingered in my memory.

‘Now that’s all in the past.’

How did that guy end up…

“Sigh.”

I let out a sigh for no reason and pulled down my gloves.

Scritch Scratch.

As I opened the door, I spotted Chloe already seated in the hallway after changing clothes.

“Chloe.”

“Ah, Professor Rania.”

Chloe lifted her head slightly to look at me.

Her eyes were dazed, and for some reason, her skin lacked vitality.

“…Did you not sleep well last night?”

“Well, um… I couldn’t really fall asleep, you know.”

Chloe scratched her head.

That behavior wasn’t like her at all. I silently watched her before speaking up.

“Is something wrong?”

“Ah, nothing happened.”

Something clearly did.

Seeing Chloe’s noticeably flustered demeanor made me smile bitterly. I bent slightly to adjust my height to Chloe’s as she shyly turned her gaze away.

“You seem to have a lot on your mind.”

“…A little bit.”

“You don’t seem to want to talk about it.”

Chloe pressed her lips tightly together.

It looks like it’s the kind of dilemma she thinks she shouldn’t share with me.

“Ugh.”

Thwack!

I lightly flicked Chloe on the forehead.

“Shall we take a break today?”

“…From the start?”

“Considering you’re in this state, a day off is fine. After all, your will is what matters most.”

Chloe shook her head.

“I’m okay.”

Then she quickly stood up.

The Knights Order’s uniform Chloe wore fluttered in the wind. She looked awkward in clothes that didn’t fit her.

“Let’s go, Professor Rania.”

“Sure…”

I nodded and turned back.

There stood Galahal, who had arrived at some point. He wore the hero’s uniform and naturally bore the holy spear on his back.

“It’s serious now.”

“We are officially heading to the battlefield now. Rania, do you have anything else to prepare?”

For some reason, the way he addressed me shifted from ‘Professor Rania’ to ‘You, Rania.’ Feeling a bit unsettled by that change in tone, I nodded.

“Nothing specific.”

“Like a staff or something like that.”

“Hey. Have you ever seen the Ashen Mage fighting with a staff?”

“He said it was cumbersome and didn’t use it. If I remember correctly, even the staff his master gave him was just packed away, right?”

“Exactly.”

At a certain level of proficiency, a staff becomes cumbersome. It aids in drawing circuits, but once accustomed, using just his finger is much faster.

“So I won’t use it either.”

“Oh, I see…”

If you say so, I guess that’s how it is.

With that gaze, Galahal looked down on me. It was a rare expression of resignation from him.

“…Why are you looking at me like that?”

“What am I saying?”

“No, that gaze is a bit unusual.”

“If you feel that way, then maybe there’s something to feel guilty about. I’m innocent.”

This guy, yet again…

“Hey, you’re not…”

“Sir Galahal, Lord Destel is waiting for you.”

Just as I was about to say something, a knight approached us and pointed to the end of the hallway.

“Let’s go.”

Galahal led in a way that matched my earlier attitude.

I silently glared at Galahal.

‘Why does he seem to have a lighter attitude towards me now? Is that so…?’

I poked Galahal’s back hard.

Galahal uttered a surprised noise as he turned to look at me.

“You noticed, didn’t you?”

“What did I notice?”

“No, you know, don’t play dumb.”

“Then, what are you talking about.”

Pfft.

“Professor Rania, is something wrong?”

“…It’s nothing. Let’s go, Chloe.”

This, it surely seems like he must have noticed.

I only had a hunch. Finally, I let out a sigh and followed behind Galahal.

3.

To the Eastern Front, Harprion.

“I will do as I always do. I am the one responsible for Harprion. You guys are just guests.”

Inside an office covered in maps.

The owner of the room, Destel, welcomed his guests with his chin resting on his hand. His eyes were filled with fatigue.

“I understand why you chose this place. You probably want to compare me with Galahal.”

He grumbled.

“If that’s the case, go ahead. I’ll proceed with my usual operations, and you will be treated as auxiliary forces. Do whatever you want.”

I won’t pretend to work hard just because guests have arrived, nor will I use irrelevant words… I wouldn’t do such bothersome things.

Destel exhaled sharply, as if to nail it down.

“The operation will commence in three days.”

He pointed to the map laid out on the table.

“The Berta Canyon extermination operation.”

Recognizing the marked location, Raniel frowned. It was a name she couldn’t possibly forget.

Berta Canyon.

It was the place where Raniel and Kyle had battled the Black Dragon.

*