Chapter: 137
When was it, exactly?
The moment I started to admire the heroes who protect people from countless dangers and work hard for others.
The moment I thought I wanted to be a hero like them.
Believing firmly, just like the heroes in stories said, that if I had effort and passion, I could become a great hero, that moment has kept me running forward until now.
Mei thought with a bitter smile.
Surely, that moment was undeniably when my childhood was truly pure.
Even when she entered the Academy, known as the gateway to becoming a hero, Mei was half convinced.
Among the students who enrolled, she was sure that she would become a great hero who wouldn’t fall behind others.
She had some talent compared to others, and she was confident that her desire to become a great hero wouldn’t lose to anyone else’s.
After all, she had been thinking of becoming a great hero and had made an effort since she was very young.
So, there was no way she would be left behind compared to others.
Until she saw the other students at the Academy, she thought so.
Mei was, if anything, a prodigy.
To someone looking from the outside, they might say she had a bit of talent.
And among the children attending class with her, there were geniuses everywhere.
There was a girl with a body so robust that it seemed like she wouldn’t fade away.
There was also a girl who could freely manipulate water and ice, along with the one-and-only contractor of the star spirit in the world.
There was a boy known as a genius mage and another boy with talent so remarkable that he was appointed a hero at the youngest age.
Amidst such shining talents, Mei realized her own talent was pitifully insignificant.
While she could make one step forward with time, others would make ten or even a hundred steps.
Moreover, those outstanding individuals did not lack effort, unlike those who relied solely on talent.
Mei had no choice but to acknowledge.
That there was an insurmountable gap between her and them.
It was absurd enough to doubt her own efforts because of the talent gap, but…
However, Mei was not a girl weak enough to be crushed just by that.
Mei lifted her head and looked ahead.
A girl with red hair was dancing gracefully, wrapped in flames as red as her hair, engaging in a duel.
Scarlet Evande, her precious friend.
Mei had been watching her all along.
The way she willingly sacrificed one of her arms to protect the people inside the gym.
The way she experienced death countless times during special classes but never showed any signs of hardship and ultimately achieved her goals.
Admiration.
That was the driving force that had allowed Mei to keep striving without wavering until now.
And the admiration she once had for great heroes had slowly shifted to the girl standing before her.
Because she saw the figure of the great hero she had long admired reflected in her.
Mei wanted to be like her.
She wanted to be someone who could stand side by side with her and fight together.
But…
Mei wiped the cold sweat off her face with her trembling, stiffened hand.
Since earlier, after receiving the killing intent Leon had unleashed during class, she had been in this state.
The moment she was exposed to that killing intent, Mei recalled the memory of facing a witch.
Back then, she clearly watched her precious friend get dragged away by the witch with her own eyes.
And yet, she couldn’t do anything.
Nothing.
Just because she was too afraid to move her body.
And now, feeling her body stiffen again from Leon’s killing intent like back then, Mei felt her confidence slip away for the first time.
In front of her, she saw the girl she admired dueling with Leon.
While she could barely move from minimal exposure, she was facing overwhelming pressure head-on, moving with skill that couldn’t even be compared to before.
Was it talent, she wondered.
Mei recalled the day she trained with Scarlet under Leon.
Back then, the day she faced the witch, and now.
Scarlet seemed like a person who had no fear at all.
Watching Scarlet nonchalantly cross the line that Mei could never pass made her instinctively think that it was also talent.
If not feeling fear was also a talent…
Then surely, no matter what she did in her life, she could never become like the girl she admired.
The difference in talent.
The words that once seemed to be something she could just brush off resonated more than ever for Mei at this moment.
And her gaze, which had always faced forward without bending to any situation, suddenly dropped.
She looked at her trembling hands and felt pathetic.
The realization that no matter what, she could never become like the girl she admired felt like losing the support that had kept her standing until now.
Mei felt her heart waver and grimaced.
But it was then.
“-Cough, cough… ugh…”
“Are you okay?! No, why did that suddenly happen? Why would you stop during a duel like that…!”
“Hic, heh… I’m s-sorry… I’m so sorry…”
A bit of a commotion arose as Scarlet was knocked away by Leon’s attack.
And through that gap, when Mei looked at Scarlet’s face, she felt like she had been struck in the back of the head with a hammer.
Her face was drenched in cold sweat.
Her gaze was shaken and twisted.
And what could be seen on the face of someone pleading with a trembling voice to head to the nurse’s office was clearly not pain, but fear.
In that moment, Mei realized.
Scarlet was not some being without fear.
She had simply been enduring her fear until now.
At that moment, an overwhelming self-loathing washed over Mei.
Upon reflection, it was entirely normal for Scarlet to feel fear just like herself.
Yet she had thought of her as a monster without fear.
Could it be that she had unconsciously wanted to justify giving up on trying simply as an excuse?
If so, then that was a truly cowardly and disgraceful act.
And yet, here she was, wanting to become a great hero.
Feeling self-pity, Mei bit her lip.
At that moment, Leon, watching Scarlet leave the gym, spoke with a troubled expression.
“…There was a bit of an incident, but we should continue the class. Next, who wants to challenge?”
“…I’ll do it.”
Impulsively standing up, Mei placed herself before the imaginary line Leon had drawn with his spear.
The moment she stood before the line, she felt an oppressive killing intent wrap around her.
It was a sensation she had felt before.
With the first step, she felt the chill.
With the second step, her body began to tremble.
And as she tried to take the third step, she felt her body freeze without her knowing.
Instinct screamed at her to run away and that she would die.
“Ugh…”
Her head screamed for her legs to move, but her body refused.
However, feeling Leon’s gaze upon her, Mei steadied her heart.
Hadn’t he said?
If heroes succumb to fear, they are worthless.
Moreover,
Mei bit her lip and recalled.
Her friend who had pushed herself into peril to save them.
The fear she had felt back then was nothing compared to this.
So, was it okay to be this weak while saying she wanted to stand next to Scarlet?
With a grinding, bone-crunching sound, Mei clenched her jaw tight and strengthened her legs.
She finally stepped over the line she had been unable to pass last time.
As she did, the oppressive killing intent vanished, and Leon spoke with a faint smile at the corner of his mouth.
“…I’m a bit surprised. I didn’t think you’d succeed right away. Good job. Overcoming fear like that is the way to survive. If you get used to it, it will certainly help—”
“…Ha, heh. It’s not enough.”
“…Not enough? What do you mean?”
At that moment, cutting off Leon’s words, Mei gasped harshly.
Despite grimacing due to the effects of forcing her body to move against its will, she spoke tremblingly toward Leon.
“…I said it’s not enough. Just surviving isn’t good enough. So, please tell me how I can get stronger.”
“…I thought you got quite a bit stronger, but do you suddenly want to get stronger for some reason?”
“…Because I have no talent. I can’t use magic, and my abilities are vague. I need help to become as strong as I want to be.”
“…Hmm.”
After hearing Mei’s request, Leon looked at her for a moment with an unpleased expression, then his face hardened as he muttered.
“…Is that all there is to it?”
“Kuh… What?!”
Right after that, Mei was once again overwhelmed by the aura emanating from Leon and knelt down.
Even as Mei struggled in pain from being crushed by the sudden surge, Leon asked with an indifferent gaze.
“If that’s your only reason, then I’m going to find it a bit hard to believe. Even if you’re the daughter of my acquaintance, it feels quite rude. You need a better reason for me to agree to help.”
And at that, Mei muttered.
“…I-I don’t want to…”
It was then that she realized.
Upon reflection, there was something even more frightening to her than the fear of death.
“…I mean, I don’t want to…!”
Thus, as she recalled that moment, which made her feel the most pathetic about herself,
That moment, when she never wanted to experience it again.
As she pressed her hands against the ground and slowly lifted her body against the overwhelming, oppressive aura,
Finally standing on both feet, Mei glared at Leon with blazing eyes as she shouted.
“I never want to…! When my friend is in danger, I hate the thought of not being able to do anything…!!!”
After shouting like that, gasping for breath, Mei poured all her desperation into her words.
With a humble posture, she bowed to Leon and pleaded.
“…So, please. Help me become strong…”
At her words, a moment of silence fell.
“…Why didn’t you just say that from the start?”
With a bemused expression, Leon scratched his head and replied.
