Chapter 73: Me and 【Me】

The book says that every cub will regard the first object it sees upon opening its eyes as its mother; this is an instinct and nature of beings.

But I don’t have such a nature.

My name is Xiao Guang, a very simple and direct name, somewhat plain, derived from my master.

The moment I became conscious and opened my eyes, I saw her.

She held me in her arms, carefully dressing me in a fabric known as “clothes,” shielding me from the thunder and rain with her not too broad body. That kind of care was my first impression of her.

I couldn’t remember anything, or rather, I was just a newly born chick, a blank page, and that unknown made me instinctively wary of any creatures approaching, even her.

I did not feel the impulse to regard the first being I saw as my mother, which is different from what the book wrote, but she was still special. Just looking into her eyes churned a wave of warmth in my heart, something named familiarity and affection, and the more time I spent with her, the stronger that feeling grew.

I was a rational being, trying to suppress that intense fondness from an unknown source, but I also knew that having just been born into the world, I needed help and someone to rely on.

So after much deliberation, I chose her and decided to follow my impulse in recognizing her as my master.

Miss Vilyric gave me this name, which seems to come from another 【me】 that once existed, a close companion of the master.

The master said I am 【me】, just that I had just been born in this form and had not synchronized with my past memories yet.

Perhaps that is indeed the case, but I don’t feel it that way, and the name Xiao Guang really feels a bit arbitrary… how to put it, after interacting with the outside world more, I found it seemed more like a pet name for a cat or dog.

Well… but considering that 【I】 am indeed the master’s pet dragon, that name might be reasonable.

The master is strong, far stronger than I am, and that’s the key reason I am willing to follow and obey her arrangements. Seeking the strong is another instinct of beings, and in this regard, I am no exception.

But as I became familiar with her, I gradually found that the master seemed to have many strange interests. She was always keen on making friends with those pitifully weak creatures, even ants that I could easily crush, and she would interact with them as if they were equals, even showing them a degree of respect.

Why does she do this?

I genuinely cannot understand. It’s a fundamental rule that the weak submit to the strong, and the strong dominate the weak. Even if I remember nothing and need to learn everything, I can still see the oddity and irrationality in the master’s actions.

If I were to put myself in her shoes, had she not possessed an absolute strength that far surpassed mine, making me unable to harbor even an ounce of resistance upon seeing her, I would undoubtedly consider my allegiance much more carefully, regardless of the intense familiarity she brings.

Doesn’t she feel humiliated or frustrated? To have a group of pitifully small beings like ants talk to her without any sense of awe? Alright… I admit, after comparing, I realize that they already regard the master with a considerable respect compared to other targets, but that clearly isn’t enough to fill the gap of the absolute hierarchy between them.

Especially that foolish human named Le Qiao Qiao, her every gesture drips with arrogance and contempt.

So I took action to discipline her, but unexpectedly, it didn’t even threaten her life a bit; it was merely a light punishment, yet it still drew the master’s displeasure and scolding.

She spoke to me in a tone that was no longer gentle but very serious and earnest, stating I should not bully the weak and attack others casually. That girl actually meant no harm; she only wanted to try to interact and express closeness. If one feels uncomfortable, they can express it verbally, refuse, rather than resort to violence outright.

Because the master looked like she wasn’t joking, out of obedience to the strong and instinctive trust, I chose to back down at that moment.

The master constantly emphasizes to me that force is the last resort for solving problems; she seems to dislike fighting.

To be honest, since I woke up, I’ve lived with the master, and she has taught me many things, very practical and effective skills and knowledge, proving that she is indeed a trustworthy and worthy superior, a wise person whose every word and action is well-considered.

But… there’s one thing I can never understand.

The master… her view on power seems vastly different from mine. Clearly a superior, yet she treats all beings weaker than her almost as equals. Perhaps this is the reason she is 【the master】 but also carefully nurtures followers like me.

Honestly, I’ve felt a vague gratitude about this more than once because the master’s view indeed enables me to live a better life and grow faster and more comfortably. Yet, upon deeper reflection, I feel even more confused.

Is the master correct? Should I also treat each tiny creature like an ant with the same equal attitude as she does?

I’m a bit curious about how the past 【me】 understood and viewed this issue.

I don’t know; the temporary amnesia has completely severed me from my past, making me nearly two unrelated individuals. The master says this is a side effect of evolution and some coincidences and won’t last forever. I also have a vague sense of something similar.

Perhaps when I restore my memories and become the past 【me】 again, these confusions and troubles will unravel. Doing nothing and quietly waiting seems to be the best choice.

However, the master seems to disagree; she has repeatedly urged me to think and has tried various means to inspire me to actively seek answers, calling it 【a golden opportunity】.

At that moment, I suddenly realized something.

The instinct of beings does not change easily; since I am 【me】, perhaps the past 【me】 also found herself caught in the same quagmire, troubled by these incomprehensible worries, which must have made her exceptionally confused.

Clearly, as the closest companions, yet unable to understand each other, creating a distance, that must be a torment close to driving 【me】 insane.

For some reason, such thoughts surfaced in my mind.

So, 【I】 must temporarily cast aside everything from the past, shed all chains and constraints, to re-examine this world from a similar yet different perspective, to search for those 【I】 cannot see, to do things 【I】 wouldn’t do.

Since that’s the case, let’s try to understand and change.

Before regaining everything and becoming the past 【me】 again, I’ll search for answers with these eyes that have yet to be obscured, just as the master said, unabashedly hoping to find a path that truly belongs to 【us】.

That might just be the reason I am here.

Well… by the way, this isn’t a metaphor. If I’m not mistaken, I’m currently being splendidly trafficked by creatures like “poachers.”

Of course, I’m doing it on purpose.

   

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